Teegra
In 1982, Ralph
Bakshi collaborated with talented artist Frank Frazetta, known for
his paintings of mighty warriors and voluptuous women, for an animated
feature film called FIRE AND ICE, using Frazetta's drawing style
with Bakshi's animation methods, and unfortunately for some, he
used the rotoscoping that marred some films of his like AMERICAN
POP . FIRE AND ICE for all intents and purposes was a fun little
film that featured unbridled violence (rather graphic for a PG rating)
and some partial female nudity, much of it coming from this month's
recipient for Babe of the Month, the first animated female to make
the list- Teegra.
What makes Teegra so special? For one, she came from a decade where
quite a few animated hot women were in abundance (Adora/ She-Ra,
Cheetara, and Lady Jane for starters,) but unlike those women, she
was not confined to the realm of 80s daytime cartoons and thus she
was free to be as naked as she wanted to be. Though not completely
naked, she was nude enough to stamp my impressionable young mind
at my first viewing, and also for the first time made me ponder
that special feeling I had in my pants at age 10.
Teegra featured a unique body style- big breasts, big butt, thin
waist, thick thighs, thick lips. At my young age, I almost was driven
to tears due to the fact that such an almost perfect looking woman
did not exist and was only an animated character, thus leaving me
with a then unknown feeling that I eventually came to recognize
as blue balls. Enter Larn, the film's male protaganist and, yeah,
Luke Skywalker figure. He slaughtered and pounded on the villainous
troglodytes who served the hideous Nekron. Once Larn encountered
Teegra, I envisioned myself as he, complete with furry panties and
boots. Hey, I would never wear such a thing, but if it meant boning
Teegra, a small sacrifice is not big enough to hinder my quest.
It was no coincidence that Larn's ferocity and heroics increased
in passion and certainty once he was separated from Teegra. The
sight of stacks of dead bodies, the cries of defeat from the army
of Nekron, the feeling of pity one elicits from seeing those poor
subhuman trogs getting their heads slammed shamelessly and without
mercy yet with full bloodlust at the easiness of their offing make
it easy to understand that Teegra has become the Helen to Larn's
Paris. And so as the film ended, I was left with an empty feeling,
not that I didn't enjoy the film (though as I got older, the film's
rotoscoping did tax my soul's patience to the point of weariness,)
or that the violence wasn't graphic enough for me to enjoy such
a cartoon. It pretty much showed He-Man and the Masters of the universe
how to do a cartoon with a barbarian type character and LOTS of
weapons and partially nude women.
It was that dreaded feeling of blueballs.
Just as the baddies are defeated, we get to see the wonderful outline
of our heroine, lying on the ground and our hero running his hand
over her profile. As the film was ending, there was that image of
Larn walking side by side with Teegra, the two looking at each other,
and then finally going in for his kiss, a long one that is justifiably
the last image you see in the film, since there really is nothing
more you can do with such a woman, and as I saw the kiss, partially
naked body on partially naked Teegra, all I could think of was "Larn,
that lucky bastard." And the pain of unfulfilled passion sunk
in, the knowledge that I could not have Teegra as she was being
porked by an undeserving animated man, and all I could do was watch.
In the later years, however, I learned how to deal with such frustration
and now have absolutely no problem merely watching Teegra doing,
well, what Teegra does. And we ask for nothing more.
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